1)
You need a new car. Do you...?
Work hard, save as much as you can, and buy a car you can afford
Call up your family connections and get yourself a government car for your own private use
Gather your family/friends, set up a road block and nab yourself a passing car
Why do I need a new car, my donkey's never failed me yet!
2)
You're invited to chew qat, do you?
Arrive late, chew a little to join in, and finish chewing early
Politely refuse to chew as you consider qat to be a national ill.
Attend, but do not chew too much as you've chewed three days this week already.
Bring a bale of qat branches with you, Once you've filled one cheek, move on to filling the other.
3)
It's time to get a job, do you...?
Apply for as many jobs as you can, work hard to prepare for interviews, with your skill alone you will get a good job
Call in your family favours and get yourself a government job.
Only take a job that is in accordance with your social class. Otherwise stay unemployed.
Take any job available. Better to clean the streets than do nothing all day...
Why do I need a job, I'm fully employed already hanging around outside the Sheikh's house.
4)
5)
Your neighbour steals your goat, what do you do?
Go to his house with a tribal mediator and try to resolve the matter peacefully
Take his cousin's cow and hold it hostage until the goat is returned
Call the police and have them investigate the matter
Write him an angry letter, and threatening legal action.
6)
Someone has gone and blown up the oil pipeline again...
Time to send in the army.
Good. Direct action like this is the only way to get the government to listen.
Well if the government only paid enough money, this kind of problem wouldn't happen.
This symbolises all that's wrong with Yemen
7)
It's time for a celebration! Do you....
Sing, dance, and let off a few rounds to show your excitement... what goes up, surely never comes back down again!
Inflate the party balloons and let off a few party poppers
Chew qat
Get a few friends together for a celebration, but listen out for the hum of an approaching drone
Crack open the champagne
8)
Complete this sentence: An eye for an eye...
... a tooth for a tooth
... makes the whole world blind
... or the appropriate equivalent in cash
9)
There's a nice piece of land over there, you'd like to have it.
Assemble some of your friends with guns, occupy the land, and build some makeshift defenses out of rocks, stones and breeze blocks
Have a word with the local political heavyweights, pay them some bribes and get yourself a set of deeds for the land.
Get in touch with the owner and negotiate a fair price.
10)
Some new blokes have come to town talking about religion, jihad, and the end of Western imperialism. Do you...
Study the theological correctness of their positions and evaluate whether you should join their cause?
Get excited about the prospect of more pointless fighting and rush to join their cause?
Ask them how much they'll pay you.
Chew qat.
Have nothing to do with such radical nonsense.
11)
Revolution has gripped the streets, with pro-government protesters in one square, anti-government protesters in the other...
Listen to the arguments of all sides, work out who's ideas you agree with and give them your support.
They're all as bad as each other, I'm keeping out of this.
Look to your community leader for guidance and throw your lot in with whoever they support
Which side will pay me more?
Chew qat.
