NerdTests.com Quiz: Enrichment Center Application Form

Thank you for expressing interest in the Aperture Science Enrichment Center testing program. By completing this application you are volunteering to participate in one or more standard unspecified experimental testing scenarios. Aperture Laboratories can not elaborate on the nature of any testing until said testing has begun, and in certain cases can not clarify the intent of the test until successful completion, or death. As part of a required protocol, we must advise you of the following hazardous conditions:
The symptoms most commonly produced by Enrichment Center testing are superstition, perceiving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations.
To ensure the safe performance of all authorized activities, do not destroy vital testing apparatus.
Avoid contact with any Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid as it may result in partial vaporization
At this time the Enrichment Center would like to alert you that in certain testing scenarios you may be
assigned an Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube. This Weighted Companion Cube will accompany
you through your test. Please take care of it. Certain protocols render your Companion Cube indispensable,
as it will assist in various requisite tasks. The Enrichment Center would like to take this moment to warn you
that the Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you, and in fact can not speak. In the event that the
Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice. Upon completion of
given tasks you may be required to dispose of your Companion Cube in an Aperture Science Emergency
Intelligence Incinerator. Rest assured that an independent panel of ethicists has absolved the Enrichment
Center, Aperture Science employees, and all test subjects of any moral responsibility for the Companion
Cube euthanizing process. Although the euthanizing process is remarkably painful, 8 out of 10 Aperture
Science engineers believe that the Companion Cube is most likely incapable of feeling much pain. If it could
talk, and the Aperture Science Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it can not, it
would tell you to go on without it because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you.
As part of a required test protocol we will not monitor the test. You will be entirely on your own. Good Luck.

Please choose the description that best describes your personality.

Childish
Timid
Out-going
Confident

Please pick the sentence that incorrectly employs the word, "Excruciating".

The test caused excruciating pain.
The Test Subject felt excruciating pain.
I like to eat cake while excruciating

Do you trust yourself?

Yes.
No.

Do you ever feel like there are people talking about you or watching you?

Yes.
No.

Complete the following statement with the answer that DOES NOT apply to you: I am often:

Worried that life is vague and unreal.
Suspicious of the actions of others.
Convinced that nobody really cares about me.
Disturbed by the noise of the wind.

Choose the correct inspiration for this inspirational phrase, "You can succeed best and quickest by going it alone".

Purpose.
Patience.
Success.
Teamwork
Courage,

How often do you exercise?

Every day.
Every other day.
Every week.
Every month.
Once.

If you were trapped in a room with a lazer, you would react in which of the following ways?

Scream.
Panic.
Do nothing.
Try to find some way out of the room.

What is the correct utensil, for, let's say, eating cake?

Spoon.
Wires.
Fork.
Fingers.
Cake.

10)

The Aperture Science Enrichment Center will offer, what, to Test Subjects after the completion of the testing.

A party.
Freedom.
Therapy.
Nothing.
Cake and Grief Counselling.

11)

Very good. You have completed the Aperture Science Enrichment Center Volunteer Application Form.
Thank you for helping help you help us all.
Oh, and one last thing, our motto, is?

There's a hole in the sky, through which things can fly.
Cake.
We do what we must because we can.
I'm different...
The cake is a lie.

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