You and your girlfriend are at Taco Bell, and you got extra cheese on your taco. You are lactose intolerant. Now you need to fart, and she wants to kiss you! What do you do?

  Crap your pants.
  Fart and blow up the restaurant.
  Pull your pants down and fart so that the cushions on the chairs muffle it up.
  Hold it in and crap your pants.

You are driving to work and you really need to fart. But you don't want to hold it in. What do you do?

  Pull down your pants and fart out the window.
  Crap your pants.
  Pull over, get out of the car, and fart.

You are at work. You have to fart, but you are really comfy in your chair, and you don't want to fart out loud. What do you do?

  Crap your pants.
  Fart, so that everyone will move away from you.
  Fart, so you blow up your computer.
  Get up and crap your pants on the way to the bathroom.

You are playing tennis with your crush. You have to fart. If you farted, she would leave you alone. What do you do?

  Fart on the tennis racket.
  Let your crush hit you in the face, then fart as you fall down.
  Crap your pants.
  Fart, and let her leave you.
  Hold it in and crap your pants.

You are having a sleepover with your friend at his house. You guys are sleeping, but suddenly, you wake up and have to fart badly. Uh oh! What do you do?

  Walk to the bathroom, and crap your pants on the way.
  Fart in the sleeping bag and wake your friend up.
  Crap your pants and go back to sleep.
  Hold it in, so in the morning, you make a nice, stinky surprise.

You are giving a presentation to your class, and suddenly you have to fart! What do you do?

  Squeeze your balls and try to hold it in.
  Crap your pants.
  Hold your fart in for the end of your presentation.
  End your presentation and run to the bathroom.

You are hanging out with a girl you just met at a bar. You have to fart all of a sudden when you are about to ask her for her number. What do you do?

  Fart, let her leave you, and get drunk because you're depressed.
  Take a wine glass from the bar and fart in there.
  Fart on the jukebox.
  Crap your pants.

You are having a barbeqcue with your family. You are cooking steak on the grill outside. You have to fart. Oh no! What do you do?

  Fart on the steak and set the grill on fire.
  Go fart under the deck
  Crap your pants.
  Run to the bathroom and burn the steak.
  Lean against the windows and fart.
  Crouch in the corner of the deck, pull down your pants, and fart.
  Fart on the gas tank under the grill and blow up the whole house.
  Fart, so everyone leaves the barbeqcue.

You are drinking a can of soda. What do you do when you have to fart?

  Fart, so you blow the soda out your nose.
  Fart, so you crap out the soda.
  Crap your pants.
  Run to the bathroom, and toss your cookies.

You are ice skating out on the lake in the winter. You have to fart. What do you do?

  Crap your pants and ruin your skating outfit.
  Fart and break the ice, so you fall into the lake.

You are on a safari in the jungle. You have to fart. What do you do?

  Fart, so you start a forest fire.
  Fart, so the lions eat you up.
  Fart, so the lions run away from you.
  Crap your pants.
  Hold it in, then fart later on a rock.

You are visiting Buckingham Palace and the king and the queen. You have to fart when the queen is showing you around. What do you do?

  Fart, then run away.
  Fart, so that the queen kicks you out of the palace.
  Crap your pants.
  Hold it in, so when the queen honors you, you leave a big surprise.

You wake up in the morning, but suddenly need to fart. What do you do?

  Crap your pants.
  Pull down your pants, then fart, your butt facing the floor.

You drank a whole gallon of milk. Okay... Umm... You need to fart. What do you do?

  Crap your pants.
  Hold it in, and crap your pants.
  Fart in between the couch cushions.

You are in the public library. You need to fart, but the librarian is right next to you. What do you do?

  Fart, so the books fall off the shelves.
  Crap your pants.
  Hold it in, so you fart later, then break the chair you're sitting in.
  Rush to the bathroom, screaming "I''m lactose intolerant!".

You are making a line of dominoes to knock down for a big show. You suddenly get the urge to fart. What do you do? You only have two options.

  Crap your pants.
  Fart, so all the dominoes fall down and you have to start all over.

Your cousin is visiting you for dinner. You have to fart at the dinner table, especially since you had tacos with sour cream and onion on your taco. What do you as you have the urge to fart?

  Muffle up the fart by the chair you're sitting in.
  Fart and have your cousin leave your dinner visit.
  Crap your pants.
  Run to the bathroom and make like a bomb exploding, so your cousin thinks it's disgusting.

You are in science class making stink bombs. Your partner is the prettiest girl in school. You have to fart during the project. What do you do?

  Fart in the test tubes and make a nice stink bomb.
  Fart, so that the girl complains to the teacher.
  Fart, so that the dangerous explosives in the room are ready to bomb the school.
  Crap your pants.
  Grab the beaker duster and muffle up your fart.
  Cough and cover up your fart.
  Fart and make a second stink bomb, then stink up a teacher's room as a prank.
  Ask the girl out, then fart, so it backfires.
  Hold it in, so when you present your stink bomb to the class, it will make the bomb even stinkier.

Do you like farting?

  No. It's embarrasing!
  Yes. Definitely!
  Are you kidding? I love it!
  Are you kidding? I hate it! It sucks!
  I do it from time to time, so it's OK!
  I never fart. I always hold it in.