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Other - How To Tell If People Hate You
Here is how you can tell if people, even your parents, hate you
1. Your bath toys were a radio and a toaster
2. When you were kidnapped and your abductor sent your finger to your dad as proof, your dad wanted more proof
3. When you worked at the pet store, customers would ask how big you'd get
4. You were never breast fed as a baby. You mom only thought of you as a friend
5. A girl told you to come over to her house. She said nobody would be home. She was right: nobody was home
6. When you were born, the doctor took a look at both of your ends and said "Look, twins!"
7. After you were born, the doctor tells you parents "I'm sorry, we did everything we could, but he pulled through."
8. Your mom caught you smoking and she only scolded you for your poor choice of brand
9. After you got beat up by the school bully, your dad answers, "Oh I wish I was there!"