You first have to climb 1,000 steps

  Noooooo! And faint
  Fine... I'll climb
  Go up then die on the first step
  Fart and land at the top

The guards ask your name

  Kick them! It's your business!
  Why the **** do you need to know!
  I'm called tree
  My name is (your name here)

You see a statue made of crystal saying DO NOT TOUCH!

  Touch it
  Steal it
  Smash it
  Look at it
  Fart on it

You find the bathroom and you need to go

  Do it on the floor
  Use the toilet normally
  Pretend the man next to you is a toilet
  Fart

You see a mean guy on his iPod he's visiting too

  Snatch it
  Tell him it's not polite
  Ignore him
  Get out your own iPod

You see the queen's bed

  Sleep in it
  Have a pillow fight
  Look at it
  Shove someone into it

In the final room you see the queen on her chair

  Laugh at her dress
  Fart
  Say HI!
  Look at her

When you leave someone pulls down your pants

  Turn red
  Pull them back up
  These questions are wierd...

I'm out of questions

  K
  Think of more! You have a brain!

Final! Promise to rate 5 star?

  Yeah!
  No you ******