Do you think you're naughty or nice?

  Naughty
  Nice
  A little of this, a little of that.

So, are you involved with illegal drugs?

  HOW DID YOU KNOW?!
  No, I sit at home and watch TV...
  That depends... Only if I feel like it.
  What are drugs?

Are you involved in serious gangs?

  Yeah, and you better watch out, 'cause we're commin' for YOU!!!
  No, I support the children's hospital.
  I don't know. Am I?
  Gangs? Those sound scary...

Do you donate to charities?

  WELL YEAH! GOTTA HELP OUT THE NEEDY!
  NO! MY MONEY! BACK AWAY, YOU HOBOS!!!
  I will only donate on Wednesdays.

How do you feel about helpless animals?

  They're the perfect target for hunting season.
  SAVE THEM, SAVE THEM! Poor little bunnies...
  I dunno. Never really thought about it.
  CHOCOLATE!! CHOCOLAAAAAATEEEE!!!!

How's your personal hygiene?

  Yellow teeth, knotted hair, pimples everywhere, fungi feet... I'd say my hygiene's pretty good.
  Germs are my enemy. I will do everything I can to DESTROY THEM! Pearly, shiny white teeth, glistening face... Aahh, yes.
  Meh. Can't complain. My armpits could probably use a shaving...
  How do you pronounce "hygiene"?

Do you pick your nose?

  I wipe em on the wall, I wipe em on the chair, I wipe em on you, and in my underwear...
  I SHUDDER AT THE THOUGHT OF SUCH PROFANITIES!!
  Well, if you don't have a tissue... What are you gonna do?!

How do you treat your parents?

  ELDER ABUSE IS MY FAVOURITE GAME.
  I bow down to them. They are my masters. I treat them with love and affection, and I allow them to rule me and my life.
  ... My parents died in Vietnam in '88...

What do you think you scored on this test?

  Of course, I did awesome.
  D+ at the most.
  Wait... I'm doing a test?
  CHOCOLAAATE! CHOCOLAAAAATTTEEE!