First of all (and be honest), do they even know of your existence in this universe?

  Uh, sure?
  Oh, yeah, We’re good friends.
  Definitely! We hang out all the time!
  No...
  Well, they DO, but they hardly acknowledge it.

Are they a half-decent, almost-functioning, non-genocidal human being who actually treats YOU like a half-decent, almost-functioning, non-genocidal human being?

  Well, I mean, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that, buuuuuut...
  Probably... although I’m beginning to suspect they may be Satan’s (niece/nephew/relative.)
  Absolutely!! They are SOOOOOO amazing and I love them so much!!!...
  Yeah, of course! They’re so nice to me, and treat me with respect and kindness... they’re so good to me.
  No, but that’s what I like about em’...
  HECKIN JEEBERS, NO!!!
  Yeah, but they still don’t really know or care about me...
  Idk, maybe?

How well do you know each other?

  I kind of know a bit about their life, and they know a bit of mine, but nothing too personal
  Yeah! After all, we’re friends!
  Yeah, but they we keep some secrets from each other and stuff
  Oh, you literally have NO IDEA. We keep, like, NO secrets from each other, and we know almost everything there is to know about each other— it’s getting to the point where it’s honestly kind of creepy...
  No, we know nothing about each other.

Have you ever caught them looking at you when you weren’t even talking?

  No, but they’ve glanced in my general direction before...
  Yeah, they are CONSTANTLY wanting to talk to me and hang out.
  Yes, ALL THE TIME. It’s cute...
  Once or twice.
  Yeah, but not in a romantic way.
  No. They hardly ever notice me at all.

What (do you think) would they do for you?

  Uh— anything a respectable person would do, I guess.
  My friend would give the world for me.
  I have no doubts that they would give up the world for me, and then we will consequentially die together because we will be stuck in space for all eternity.
  Nothing. To be honest, they’re a bit rude.
  Nothing, because they wouldn’t know I needed anything because I am literally a giant atom to them.

How long have you known them?

  Eh. Few weeks, or months...
  A few days/weeks
  Couple of months now
  1-3 years
  2-5 years
  6+ years
  Since we were pretty much newborns!
  I don’t know them because I’ve never actually talked to them...

Do you share any interests?

  We have a small but in common. Not much, though.
  A fair amount, I would say.
  Pffft, loads. There’s no doubt that we would be a great match!
  No, we share literally nothing in common.
  I don’t know because they don’t know or frankly care about me

Can you see yourself dating them? (That means look at it from their point of view, zoomer.)

  I don’t know. Maybe. Probably not.
  Well, they’re my crush, duh, but what we have right now is pretty dang platonic
  Heck yeah! I think we go really well with each other!
  No, I just honestly don’t think it wouldn’t work out.
  No, I don’t even think they know my name because that’s not cliche (I’M SO SORRY)

Do you think they like you? (AND BE HONEST, OR I’LL STEAL UR SPAGHETTI AND COOKIES)

  I really don’t know... I’ve been getting mixed signals/Ijdk
  I think they’re into me as a friend, and nothing more (OOF BRO I KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE I’M GIVING YOU A DIGITAL HUG AS WE SPEAK)
  It’s pretty much honestly a guarantee that they like me. Not to brag or anything, but we have it pretty good.
  There’s no chance.

Do your sexualities (or romantic orientations) match up?

  Yes
  No
  Probably
  Probably not
  Very probable
  Very improbable
  Idk/other

Have they ever shown signs of attraction to you?

  Not really, no.
  Well, no, not really, but there have been a few things...
  All the time. They’re kinda crazy for me, not gonna lie.
  No, never.
  They have, but it was a long time ago/other

And finally, if you were to be in a relationship with them, how far (do you think) would they go with you? (Like how committed would they be, would you marry, etc., also this isn’t entirely just for points, I’m also just a nosy little corn cob).

  I dunno. We’d probably break up or something.
  I think we’d just date, nothing special. It wouldn’t be very committed probably, either.
  We would just stay partners, not get married or anything crazy like that.
  ALL THE WAY, WE’RE GETTING MARRIED IMMEDIATELY AND HAVING/ADOPTING/OTHER-ING CHILDREN
  I think I would be their side guy/chick or something.
  I’m pretty sure they’d just want me for a one night stand or something.
  That would never happen. There’s no point if it’s impossible. (OH MY GOSH IT’S OKAY, I AM GETTING YOU SOME LASAGNA AND PIZZA AS WE SPEAK)