1)
The kids are named Joe and Jane (boy and girl) Jane is 4 and Joe is 9. The parents are going to Antarctica for a day, what do you first approach the kids?
Introduce yourself
Lock them up in the closet until they start howling like a wolf
Smack Joe because you are feeling frustrated
Watch JonTron on the family PC
Call pest control because there is a wild Joe in the room
Watch a Disney movie
2)
The children get bored (like little children always do) What do you do next?
Play Cards vs Humanity
Play GTA 5 and go on Xbox Live with the kids
Watch another Disney movie
Play a game that suits a 4 and a 9 year old
What are you talkin' about, chunky? The kids are still in the closet
3)
It's 4:00 and Joe has some homework to get finished. What do you do?
Stuff Joe in the backpack and make him fish for it
Grab him by the back of his shirt, and throw him to the chair
Slide his homework under the door of the closet, and tell him to do it.
Help him with the homework when it's necessary
Thugs like Joe don't do homework
4)
5)
It's 6:30 and Joe is finally done with his homework, it's finally dinner time. What do you cook the kids?
Doritos and Mountain Dew
Steak with vegetables
Hot dogs with milk
I slide cooked meat under the closet door for the kids to share
6)
It's 7:15 and it's Jane's bedtime, and Joe can stay up for another hour, what do you do with Jane?
Throw Jane into bed, and lock the door
Force Jane to wear a dank fedora and a Michael Rosen costume to bed
Just let Jane sleep in the closet tonight
Make sure she brushes her teeth, and puts her pajamas, tuck her in, etc
7)
It's 7:30, Jane is in bed. What do you do with Joe?
Put Joe on a leash, make him walk like a dog, and sniff out some grub
Look at more dank memes with him
Ask Joe how it's like in the closet
Play a board game, and watch some TV
8)
Jane took a bath that morning, Joe has to take a bath, and Joe is whining about it. What do you do?
Throw a bucket of hot water in the bath, and then throw Joe in the bath
Yell "Stop whining, you fat horse"
Ban him from looking at dank memes for a month
Throw some toys in the bath
Put some water inside the closet, and tell him to bathe himself
9)
It's 8:15, It's time for Joe to go to bed, what do you do?
Throw Joe into bed like you did with Jane
Put his pajamas on, brush his teeth, tuck him in, etc
Let him sleep in the closet that night
Hang a Lord Gaben poster in his room, and make him worship him
10)
At 9:00 Jane can't sleep, what do you do?
Make her count Elsa-like sheep
Shove a spoonful of sugar down her throat
Read her a bedtime story
Read her a dank MLG bedtime story
Slide books through the closet door and read herself to sleep
11)
It's 6:00 AM, it's finally morning. Both kids go to school at 8:00, what do you do?
Turn on Darude Sandstorm on loud volume to wake the kids up
Bust the closet door open to get the kids ready for school
Gently wake the kids up for school
Get the kids up by using your dank skills
12)
It's 7:15, the kids are dressed, and ready for school. But, it's time for breakfast. What do you cook them?
Steak
Doritos and Mountain Dew
Cereal with Milk
I'm too lazy to prepare breakfast
13)
It's 8:00. The school bus is here to pick the kids up for school, but Joe won't get off his iPod from looking at dank memes. What do you do?
Throw his iPod to the wall and tell him he's done using it for today
Take him from the back of his shirt and throw him onto the bus
Kindly tell him to put the iPod away and tell him it's time for school
Look at dank memes with him, who cares about school anyways?!
14)
The parents arrive home from Antarctica. How were the kids?
They were awesomely dank! $10 per hour
They were okay. $20 per hour
They were torture to take care of! $500 per hour
They were the most un-dankest type of kids! $5000 per hour
