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Science - Remember These While Commenting Code...
1. Never spelchezk.
2. Use randomly chosen variable names, or objects that resemble your favorite Orcs and Trolls from LotR - after all, everyone knows that a Lothlorien object will have farseeing ability, so it's obvious.
3. When instantiating something for the first time, never explain it - real programmers read the original object source.
4. If you do something complex, write a short pithy comment like /* magic occurs */
5. If you do something easy but you were drinking too much hot cocoa, write a long verbose description, and also mention how good the hot cocoa was.
6. Always include song lyrics to what you're listening to while you wrote the code.
7. Object inheritence means never having to explain the code.
8. Repetition is the best way to reinforce obvious things - so repeat the obvious thing since it's the best way to reinforce it.
9. If you break up with your girl/boyfriend, write about it in the comments - people really want to know.
10. If you're updating or modifying code, write your opinion about the original code in the comments. Use nasty words if you can.