Sex - Purple Toy
A woman decided to aquire a new toy to pleasure herself with. When she got to the sex-store the clerk asked her if she needed any help to which she replied, "I want you biggest, best toy you have to please me." The clerk nodded, and led her into a back room, where he uncovered a small dank trunk. He opened it up and inside there was a purple dildo on a cushion. "Now, this may not look like much, but whatever you say, this thing will screw" said the clerk. The woman, much to her hesitation purchased it and went home.
She opened up the bag and said "Ok, now lets see if this thing really works. Purple dick, screw my couch" and sure enough it hopped up and went to the couch and proceded to screw it. This pleased the woman and she finally said "purple dick, screw me"
A few hours went by and when the woman FINALLY had enough she told the toy to stop, but it wouldnt. After numerous attempts she finally took the toy, and threw it across the room, only to see it hopping back to her. She quickly put on an overcoat and ran to her car and started speeding off only to see the dildo hopping after her in her rear-view mirror.
After about 5 minutes of driving a police officer pulls her over and when he asks her why she's speeding. She replied "Officer! Officer! There's a purple dick chasing after me!"
The officer laughed and said, "Purple dick my ass"