Advice for the socially innept

[MileHighGeekGuy]

My problem is that when someone talks to me I talk back, usually by saying "yeah" or "dont know" because what most people have to say is incredibly boring. Also when someone wants me to start a conversation by standing in conversational distance and acting as if they wish to talk, I do not talk because I despise any conversation I could possibly have with them. So maybe someone could give me some "instant" conversations that I can throw out so that they wont think im a homocidal maniac(I look like one ) and they wont be afraid of me... Because it drives me crazy when people act afraid of me because I know that all they think is that I am playing "tough guy" and theres not much I hate more than that... I know I sound like a pessimistic, self righteous, social reject, but it stands that only the last one is true.

[oxymoron]

Instant conversation is an oxymoron, unless you happen to both be speaking quicker than normal. Conversations are like moving objects; they require outside forces to stop them. (i.e. having to go somewhere on time, friend/relative calling you, etc.)

Here is one way you could keep your conversations short:
1. Speak in monosyllables
2. Pretend you have an appointment or arrange for a friend to yell your name when you feel the need to stop
3. Say "bye" to the person
4. Repeat as needed.

[MileHighGeekGuy]

What about if I say "I must go do something vague" then leave? It sounds like a one size fits all solution...

[EdTheN00bProgrammer]

/\ BAD CHILD *hits with newspaper* dont TRY and be a mean outcast, what you listed above is a complete offence, just be chill k

I've tried:
Theme of the month: constantly babble on about something really contraversial in the hope to spark a debate, for example the church of satan, sadomasochism,

->Gives me a dark image and starts interesting conversations

Laughing at terrible suffering (not that which occurs in real life)

->Gives me a dark image without hurting anyone

Swearing constantly

->Goes well with chav and prep culture

Insulting people back when they insult me

->Makes me seem better than them

Giving rational rebukes at people who insult me

->Solves conflicts, makes me seem better than them and should hopefully make the person become better

Calling people who insult me arrogant and big-headed, telling them that they are doing so to delude themselves into thinking that they are more masculine, which they have based their ego on because they are incapable of deluding themselves into thinking that they are intelligent (which is probably true in many cases)

->Crushes people psychologically a little bit and you can claim that they're just deluding themselves when they rebuke you (I know this is a formal fallacy) - makes me seem better than them and teaches them not to be mean

Agreeing with people when they insult me and laughing at myself, calling myself cr*p

->Makes them think that I actually enjoy being treated badly in the hope that they will try to make me miserable by being nice. Also a little odd, so they'll find it hard to act on it

Being cheerful about miserable things

->Makes them think that I'm a bit masochistic, giving me a dark image

Giving up and going round with a constantly miserable expression and hoping it works well with the emo culture

->Works well with emo subculture

Giving up and spending most of my time coding on my PC

->Easy

See? I'm not TRYING to be a social reject (the latter is just not bothering to try not to be).

[oxymoron]

What about if I say "I must go do something vague" then leave? It sounds like a one size fits all solution...

I think that would work.

[Zoris]

The best way is to build confidence in social situations by throwing yourself into them and doing your best while keeping calm and focused

[Red Avarice]

For me I generally can make friends easily...after a while. I am lucky enough to have a best friend who is smart, apparently attractive and in good shape, like a jock without the "St00pid" factor. Adding to that fact I don't get picked on for much seeing as I am stronger and taller than most people I know.

But for advice...hmm... I suggest just trying to be casual...throw out random sentences about things, sexual ones seem to work at my school. It isn't in my personality really but it's the price to pay to avoid being picked on...there is someone called Zac in our homegroup who is bullied terribly. He has his things broken, drawn on, he is bullied constantly, provoked and physically hurt everyday. Only to go home and face his abusive step-father...

I don't actually pick on him, I don't talk to him but I feel sorry for him, I can't show it though because then I will have the same fate as him.

Just try to be casual about it and try not to show many "nerd" traits at school such as Star Trek loving, card collecting etc.

Also try the library, it is a great place for nerds to go to be with each other, Chess clubs and so on work great too, optional classes are a great idea because only people who want to learn will be in them and stay away from people who don't like you much or vice-versa.