An angry dwarf rubbed all your hummus on a zebra. What do you do now?

  Attach a unicorn to one of my buttocks.
  Dump 4 tonnes of farm-fresh squids on him.
  Give him a flailing monkey as a birthday present.

Do penguins like meatballs?

  47
  There are millions of badgers in my bathtub.
  One time, Otis the fishmonger stepped on a marvelous tuna.

What is Randy the Goat's favourite snack?

  A Christmas wreath
  Wombat-flavoured toothpaste
  Grape drank and fried chicken (with a side of water-melone)

OUCH! You fell down the stairs because you stepped on a...?

  Slippery goat
  Turtle and sauer-kraut sammich
  Toenail

If you see Gertrude, tell him I have given his lawn gnome collection to Bismo Funyuns.

  Well it sounds like there is a hobo bathing in mayonnaise
  Make sure Gertrude knows that Lorenzo still needs his money, see.
  I'M GONNA MAKE AN ONION.

What's in YOUR pyjamas?

  A pterodactyl
  14 pounds of horse meat (that I bought from Cecil behind Costco)
  Chicken fat
  All of the above

Which of the following is NOT continental?

  A Spanish banana, baked to perfection
  A muffin, with paper and everything
  An ugly munchkin, wrestling a lobster

Senor Toucan could not to go to the family reunion because...?

  Him and his cousin, Toucan Sam, had a disagreement in their hot yoga class several years ago.
  He could never show his face in that town again, not after the Cantaloupe Tragedy of '65.
  He was under house arrest for maliciously hurling dolphins at school kids

How do you correctly greet a wise old panda?

  With a shifty glare and a sweaty handshake
  "Heey, how's that JT smellin' ?"
  I have a black belt in kung pao chicken