yesterday i was so mean to mister clean splean that the dean named ugean through me in a ravine machine to turn me into a --------.

  sine frine
  sardine
  avalavine
  avralavine
  cream

just because i look like this doesn't mean i ---------

  am a bad man
  have a germ
  have a deasise
  have intellectual problems

all of these ------- are a lie, just like my mom's ------- for me

  cats, hope
  zombies, afection
  emeralds, pity
  diamonds, love

this one time i read an entire book and then i realized ------

  it had no words
  i couldn't read
  it only had one page
  i read it backwards

endermen are freakin -----

  black
  dump
  stupid
  idiots

this one time in gym class the teacher was trying to see how high everyone could jump, i jumped --------- how is that even possible

  -5 inches
  1 inch
  5 feet
  6 yards
  10 millimeters
  4 centimeters
  76 inches
  higher than you
  to you

my mom told me that when i was born she tried to do a ritual with a voodoo doctor to make me not look like this

  i look so hansome
  what's wrong with the way i look
  this is how it turned out
  he said this was the best he could do

did you know every time a turtle has a birthday they have to

  sea each other
  cellabrate
  shellabrate
  have a great party

what came first the chicken or the egg?

  the hen did
  your dad did
  the chicken did
  the egg did
  your mom did