1)
If your wife's hairdo has ever been destroyed by ________, you might be a redneck.
a wind storm
a ceiling fan
a vacuum cleaner
an open car window
2)
If you walk your kid to school because ___________, you might be a redneck.
he's afraid
he can't find his way
it's too far to walk alone
you're in the same grade
3)
If you've ever heard your wife say, "______________", you might be a redneck.
Git them dogs out the house!
They's your kids. You deal with 'em!
Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!
Mama told me I shouldn't a married you!
4)
5)
If a ____________ is your idea of quality entertainment, you might be a redneck.
Saturday night monster truck rally
pay-per-view wrestling event
NASCAR race
six pack of beer and a bug zapper
6)
If you've been on TV more than 5 times describing ____________, you might be a redneck.
what the car wreck sounded like
what the train wreck sounded like
what the tornado sounded like
what took place at the gas station robbery
7)
If your richest relative buys a new house and you have to ___________, you might be a redneck.
help him move
lend him your truck
move out
help take the wheels off of it
8)
If your refer to your wife and your mother-in-law as __________, you might be a redneck.
the wicked step-sisters
dual air bags
the evil witches
the prison guards
9)
If you refer to the 6th grade as ___________, you might be a redneck.
the hardest days of my life
the best days of my life
the glory days
my senior year
10)
If your mother does not ______________, you might be a redneck.
wear a bra while going to dinner
remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the state trooper to kiss her butt
put the empty beer cans in the trash
put the car in park before going into the liquor store
11)
If you've been married more than 3 times and ___________, you might be a redneck.
still have the same in-laws
still own your truck
still live in the same trailer
still live in the same town
12)
If you've ever worn a tube-top to ___________, you might be a redneck.
a funeral
the family reunion
a NASCAR race
a wedding
13)
If you've ever been accused of _____________, you might be a redneck.
drinking too much beer
driving too fast
lying through your tooth
passing gas in church
14)
If you owe ______________, you might be a redneck.
your life to the information in Field and Stream
your brother-in-law more than $200
the IRS for the last 3 years in taxes
the taxidermist more than your annual income
15)
If you've ever cut your grass and _________, you might be a redneck.
found a car
hit a stump
found a snake
stalled the lawn mower
16)
If people come to your door _____________, you might be a redneck.
to ask for directions to Wal-Mart
to see if you have a dog for sale
mistakingly thinking you're having a yard sale
to try and sell you Avon products
17)
If you own ______________, you might be a redneck.
more than three pick-up trucks
a home that is mobile and fourteen cars that aren't
more than four coon dogs
stock in NASCAR.com
18)
If you've ever ______________, you might be a redneck.
gone to work drunk
had to haul a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor
been to the Waffle House and Wal-Mart in a single trip
gone to the store to buy food and came back with only beer
19)
If directions to your house include _____________, you might be a redneck.
"Turn left at the crick"
"Foller the smell of the cows"
"Turn off the paved road"
"Foller the dog. He knows the way"
20)
If you've ever been _____________, you might be a redneck.
too drunk to fish
to a NASCAR race
in jail more than twice in one week
thrown out of a bar
21)
If you've ever ______________, you might be a redneck.
financed a tattoo
financed a hunting dog
financed fishing gear
financed a lift kit for your truck
22)
If people ask for your ID and _____________, you might be a redneck.
show them your fishing licence
show them your hunting licence
show them your NRA card
you show them your belt buckle
23)
If you've ever ____________, you might be a redneck.
put a roll of pennies in the offering plate
snored during church services
made change in the offering plate
sang the wrong words to a church hymn
24)
If you have ______________, you might be a redneck.
a step ladder to get in your truck
two dogs with the same name
more than three pair of camouflage boots
a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side of 'em
