(Black Cat Jumps On Lap) Meet My Pet Dinosaur, Tatortot.

  WTF DUDE? THAT'S A CAT!
  OOOO! I Luv Dinosaurs! (Cuddles With Tatortot)
  ...
  DERRRP
  I'm Scared Mommy! (Tatortot Jumps On You And Scratches Your Face Off)

Can You Pernouce DERP Correctly?

  Umm... Why Would You Possibly Need To Know That?
  Of Course BFF! DERP!
  WTF Dude!
  You Have Problems Dude.
  :)
  DERRRRRRRRP
  0_0

(Pulls Out Sock Full Of Butter) Like It?

  About Your Problems...
  Mommy Yelled At Me When I Put Butter In My Clothes. :(
  WTF DUDE? Why Do You Have a Sock Full Of Butter?
  (Pulls Out Another Sock Full Of Butter) Like It? I Have One Too!
  Awesome Prank Dude.

I Caught a Frog! Wanna Kiss It?

  Umm... No Thanks.
  Mommy! Am I Allowed To Kiss The Frog?
  (Therapist You Called Comes In)
  WTF DUDE! That's Gross.
  Sure Besty! (Kisses)

Wanna Play The Licking Game?

  SURE!
  No Thanks.
  WTF DUDE! That's Crazy!
  Therapist: I See Why You Called Me.
  MOMMY!!!

So... Where Did You Put It?

  Put What?
  In The Bathtub. :(
  WTF DUDE! Where Did I Put What?
  What?
  MOMMY!!!

I.. I Don't Think This Is Working Out... You And I.

  WTF DUDE! We Never Dated.
  Umm... We Are The Same Gender.
  D':
  MOMMY!
  Are You... Breaking Up With Me?

It's Just Not Working.

  Oh... I Understand
  ?
  Therapist! Your Needed Again!
  WTF DUDE!
  MOMMY!!!

You Can... Leave Now. (Points To Door)

  WTF DUDE! You Can't Tell Me To Leave! (Leaves)
  Ya... Like I Said... Problems... (Leaves)
  Ok... (Leaves)
  (Runs Home To Mommy)
  (Leaves)