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Animal - The Talking Millepede
A man wanted to get a talking pet to keep him company. He went down to the pet shop and said to the man at the counter "Do you have any talking pets?"
The man at the counter said "Yes, we do. It's a talking millepede, but it is £5,000."
The man said "OK, I will buy it."
The man at the counter went into a room and came back out with a box in his hand. He put the box on the counter and said "That's £5,000 please."
The man gave the man at the counter £5,000 and picked up the box. When he got home he left the box for 30 minutes. After that he opened the box and said to the millepede "Do you want to come to the pub and get a pint with me?" There was no reply. He said it again, there was still no reply. The man thought he had been coned, so he yelled it. The millipede said "I herd you the first time, I was just getting my shoes on!!!!!"